The origin of the word “breakfast” comes from the Roman BrakeFast. The Roman interpretation meant, “Pause and put something into your belly before watching the lions swallow your fellow countrymen.” A rather lengthy interpretation but memorable.
History states that Christians were fed to the lions for their belief in one God. I have no desire to dispute that. However, there is a little known secret that has never been discussed to my knowledge. That secret is in the form of a pamphlet that is now in the hands of an underground women’s coalition in Saginaw, Michigan.
Although I don’t know the full details, I was given a snippet of its contents by a lady-friend who once held a high post in that coalition.
It seems that a woman named Cornelia led a movement in Rome’s early years to deprive men of all things masculine. And I mean all things masculine. Cornelia was a conniving member of the female population. She hated men. There was no psychological evaluation done as to why she hated men but, according to my friend, key parts of the pamphlet reveal one possibility. It seems that a male companion, Juniperus, had agreed to break bread with Cornelia. Sharing a half-loaf of bread was a sensual come-on that was common practice in ancient Rome. Well, Juniperus selfishly ate the entire loaf himself. This enraged Cornelia to such a degree that she lured Juniperus into bed with the promise of sex and, well, de-berried him.
Legend has it that that is how the Juniper berry tree was born. So the next time you find yourself picking Juniper berries please have a moment of silence in remembrance of the berryless Juniperus.
And words to the wise, guys, if you say you are going to break bread with a woman (i.e. spring for dinner) do so! Remember, “Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned Or Not Fed.”
It’s a learning process for us, gentlemen. And it scares the hell out of me how history tends to repeat itself. The berry picking is but one example. It should serve as a delicate reminder that women are special creatures and should be treated with care.
Does Bobbitt ring a bell?
French Toast
1egg
1/4
cup milk
a capful of vanilla (optional but good)
a couple slices of bread
In a mixing bowl, add egg, milk and vanilla and blend together. Spray your frying pan with a pan spray and heat. When pan is warm, dip your bread into the egg mix and cook until one side is browned. Flip and brown other side. Serve with butter or syrup.
