Chris P. Bacon was a pig farmer who lived about a mile down the road from where I spent some time as a wee one in Hogback, Missouri. It was a privilege helping Bacon each morning before school fill the troughs with milk, stale doughnuts and whatever else the town of Hogback threw in the dumpsters the night before. Bacon would spend about an hour each night driving around town collecting the food garbage to feed his pigs the next morning.

At 6:15 a.m. sharp, I would show up at Bacon’s house and squeal with joy when those pigs came running to slurp up the sloppy mix, snouts drippin’ and pig tails pumpin’.

I’ll never forget one old sow. She was special. I’d feed her jelly doughnuts and she’d chew and chew and chew and just when you thought she was done, she’d spit out the jelly. It was the most amazing thing I’d ever seen. I loved that fat old pig. Bacon called her “Can.” I think it was because she had such a fat ass.

I had just turned 11 the morning Bacon called me on the phone. He invited me to his house for birthday eggs and toast before school. I hadn’t seen much of Bacon since I stopped helping feed his swine about a year earlier due to more important things happening in my life including puberty.

He had set a gracious table for being a simple breakfast. As a kid, I was impressed. He had his best milk glasses filled to the brim with fresh milk and topped with a sprinkle of cinnamon, a large plate adorned with two farm fresh fried eggs with the yellowiest yolks you could imagine, and a big old slice of meat the likes of which I’d never seen before.

I pigged out that morning. It was one of the best breakfast meals I’d ever sat down to eat. Once I’d finished, I turned to old Chris P. Bacon and asked, “Chris P., just what was that fat old slab of meat that tasted like I was in hog heaven?”

“Son,” he said. “That was just old Canned ham.”

Enjoy yours.

Ham and Eggs

1 small canned ham

2 eggs

2 slices of bread

This breakfast is as American as dry roasted nuts. And because a fresh ham is hardly ever prepared save for the holidays, a canned one makes this meal practical whenever the mood hits. Simply slice the canned ham to the thickness you want. Either microwave or pan fry until hot. Cook your eggs the way you like them (I like mine sunny-side up so I can slosh my ham in the yolk), toast your bread and you’re ready for a breakfast that will have you thinking you’re in hog heaven.